I am 37-years-old.  I have a great life.  I do great things (well, good things).  But, like many, I don’t acknowledge my accomplishments.  And, like many, I have dreams that always seem just out of reach.  I ponder things like – how do I remain grateful for what is in front of me but restless enough to keep moving forward?

So here’s what I’ve decided to do.  I am using a writer’s concept of creating an inciting incident to move me forward into unfamiliar and scary territory.  I am creating my own catalyst for success.  I am moving past the “how”  to the “do”.  I am choosing to live an inciting life.

I am a fabulous list-maker.  I LOVE to plan things out, set goals, create schedules…in short, I’m a dreamer.  The implementation of my dreams is often where I fall short.  I create moments of accidental bravery and these become the moments I am proud of, but they have to sneak up on me.  But what I am starting to learn is, through all the uncertain, fuzziness of the unknown outcomes in life – it feels really, really good to be brave – even if I do it accidentally or reluctantly.

So I am going to be reluctantly brave.  I am choosing to put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable, expose my weaknesses to others and, in the process, create the person I feel I was meant to be in this world.  The person that has been buried by to-do lists, insecurities, and just the sheer momentum of life.  And I am going to do it publicly.  I choose to share my struggles because, in exposing them, I can no longer hide behind them and make excuses for myself.

Inciting Life – Day 1

On March 29th, 2014, one of my friends, Jennie, signed-up for the Diva Half-Marathon and posted it on Facebook.  The only other race I have ever done is the Color Me Rad, which was a little over a year ago.  Jennie ran it with me.  So I wrote to say congrats for signing up and “go you!”  She wrote back, “You should do it with me!”  And I thought – that’s insane!  And I should.  So here we are over a month later and I have told a handful of my friends that I “should” sign up, but I hadn’t.  You see, I’m physically (and mentally) nowhere near ready to run a half marathon.  My stats are something like this:

Ran one 5K a year ago (I took a few breaks to walk)

Had a foot fracture about six months ago

Get shin splints every time I’ve tried running

Carrying an extra 40 lbs (or the equivalent of my almost 4-year-old) around with me

Have a gym membership, but I take weeks off at a time

Live in Florida and it is getting ready to be Summer, which is ridiculously hot

Have four kids (the last two being twins), all 9 and under (enough said)

And last, but most importantly, I am NOT a runner

These don’t define me as a whole – not by a long shot.  But they do define my physical abilities.  So why, you ask, a half marathon?  Because it’s big.  There is a 5K option too, but I’ve done that.  It wasn’t big enough to incite the kind of physical change I need.  A half-marathon is no laughing matter.  They make you sign a waiver that says you are physically ready for it.  I’m not.  BUT, I will be.  I will be because I’m terrified.  I’m terrified that my to-do list will intervene (or that I’ll let it intervene).  I’m afraid that all of my excuses will win.  I’m nervous that I can’t go the distance (literally and figuratively) to reach this goal.  But, the bigger the goal, the harder the work, the bigger the reward.  Right?  So I’m all in.

Viva la inciting life.